Scraps…

Just came from dropping off ER discharge instructions at McCallum, because they left me to take a cab from the ER back there to get my car.

erm…. seriously??

You send me to the ER in an ambulance, when I told you I didn’t think I needed it. Didn’t want to go. Said I wasn’t suicidal. Wouldn’t kill myself. Just wanted to go home to sleep and cuddle with my puppy…. and you send me anyway.

They laugh. They get angry that their time is being wasted.

I don’t even get given a room. I wait over an hour to see a doctor. Then I wait about two more hours to get discharge papers.

Then I have to wait out in the lobby for a cab?? Really??

I was honest about those feelings I wrote about earlier… the feelings from the phone call…. the anxiety… the lack of sleep… the exlax (5)…. the drinking last night….

where did it get me? in the ER…

The whole situation?

Made me simultaneously not want to eat and binge (yes, I realize they’re opposites). It gave me a SEVERE lack of trust in my team. I feel like they don’t trust me. I say this as I told them I wasn’t going to try to kill myself and they still sent me to the ER in an ambulance as if I was.

It irritates me because I feel like I try to be SO honest with them. I make a point to be…. even when it hurts horribly on an emotional level or when I think I’ll get in trouble.

Makes me hate honesty.

Yet when I’m not being honest that messes with me.

Can’t win either way… wish I could.

positive?

I went to Walgreens, got my meds, didn’t get lax, and went home. Why was that possible? Because my psychiatrist was NOT a part of this whole thing. Still trustable.

p.s. someone I knew was on the Jerry Springer show today…