Guess what today is???
The launch of my online fashion magazine!
http://www.juxtaposemag.com <— you can view the magazine through the website
Though I think the site is pretty decent too ;)
Totally grassroots btw.
So a collective group - including myself - are starting a free online fashion magazine (highlighting St. Louis).
We won’t be launching the site (http://www.juxtaposemag.com) until closer to our launch party, but we did launch the facebook page last night and posted a couple of pictures from the two editorial spreads you’ll find in the first issue.
But she’s very cute trying to
(ignore me jutting my hip out)
and yes I finally bought it. It was $130 (regularly $298) as I used one of my employee 60% offs on it.
a lot of awkwardness just happened.
I went with my dog to get FroYo at the place beneath McCallum. Sort of a “I’m finally done with finals, not living at the library, not working tonight, and actually can spend time with my puppy” thing.
Anyway, there I am with my dog in my lap, Economics books spread out - looking up information for that summer research project - and Dr. A walks out. The same Dr. I’ve been sending letters to every two months… to make sure that she knows that her work mattered to someone.
So in all fairness the standard rule is to allow the patient to make first contact (if they wish to). But she was far-ish away and I was sitting down… We locked eyes, she went to her car. Pulled her car out partways - so it was angled at me - but not yet straight… She literally stared for quite some time. I looked back at my Econ stuff, looked back up a bit later and she was still staring.
Finally she finished backing out, and turned down the way (where I was) to get out of the parking lot and didn’t even glance at me, eyes focused straight ahead.
So so so uncomfortable.
So so so awkward.
I wish she would’ve just said hello (though I know she wouldn’t have due to that “rule”) or that I would have (and that that wouldn’t have been awkward)
I was discussing with a friend of mine a habit I am developing of mailing a letter to this person that used to be in my life every two months. Out of two letters (or rather cards) she’s not responded and if I’m to be truly honest, I don’t think she ever will (due to the nature of what type of relationship we had).
I partially feel like Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower, but mostly I feel a little sad and fearful that if I don’t send the letters she’ll forget me when I can’t forget about her (because there’s no one else in my life I had the same sort of conversations with or had that same dynamic with). I also want her to realize and know that she mattered to someone. I think that’s such an improtant thing for a person to know.
I mean… really?
So right before my brother-in-law was being interviewed by all these big sources about his photography he asked me to redo his website, hosted on WordPress. I upgraded him to WordPress.org (paying all his hosting costs) and created a photography theme for the site. I set-up e-commerce on the site to make his prints available for purchase and all that jazz. People even commented on how great his website was and how well it showed off his photography.
Well, he now decides he’s going to change everything I did. Changes it to a free theme that doesn’t even allow him usage of his logo. The change wasn’t a smooth one either and now not only does his e-commerce no longer work, but his contact page is also defunct.
He wants me to fix it.. literally sending me like 4 or 5 text messages.
but I’m sort of like… I spent a lot of time and a lot of money (well… not a lot, but over $100) to get you all set up and then YOU messed it up. so YOU clean it up.
I’ve been ignoring him… luckily he might just think I’m about to go to bed.
I went and saw a counselor at my college today. It was supposed to be a 45 minute/1 hour appt. I was there for almost 2 hours. She kept asking me more questions and telling me she thought what I was saying was really important. That she enjoyed hearing my story…
and then she told me she didn’t think she could help me. which she had to have realized before we neared that two hour mark… so why’d she keep on delving into my personal information?
and i sort of liked her too.
weirder? apparently there’s no counselor at UMSL at has experience with eating disorders.
and i really don’t think i’ll continue to lose weight. i think i’m just still affected by that email i got awhile back.
this was just supposed to be a precautionary sort of thing anyway.
i just never thought i’d be rejected… well, i thought i’d be rejected under the pretense that i didn’t need to be there, not because they couldn’t help me. and certainly not after spending more time with me than they were supposed to.
people are often fascinated with me, but unable to handle me.
tales of an empty library…
yoga in between bouts of studying economics is clearly the best idea ever…
People’s responses to the red human rights campaign’s logo taking over profile pictures on Facebook has me re-evaluating my opinions of people…
some little puppy had a bit too much snow today… and yes, there’s snow and it’s almost April…
Thanks. I am actually doing really well at the moment - probably because I just got out of treatment about 2 months ago. I worry though, since I’ve been to treatment before and “recovery” only lasted about a year that time.
I truly do believe it’s possible though, got to keep the hope alive